Ready?
I am a (somewhat) reformed Type A personality.
Are you shocked?
Are you shocked I had to go back and add the (somewhat) to the above statement? I still have the tendency to go Type A every day, thinking I need to be Wonder Woman. But, I fight it now. I like living a slower, more intentional life.
This transformation didn't happen overnight, let me assure you. It has taken years. Literally. It all started when I had my first son. Little cracks in the fabric of my Type A. I didn't always adhere to my schedule, and sometimes, just sometimes, things didn't happen the way I planned. Five years later, I had four boys age 5 and under and the fabric of my Type A "perfect" life had unravelled.
I was trying desperately to be perfect. To stick with the routine I set for myself. To always have a clean house, perfect children, food cooked every day, to basically be Wonder Woman. I beat myself up about it daily, telling the reflection in the mirror how stupid, ugly and lazy I was. I worked harder and harder every day and got further behind. I was miserable and did a good job of living up to the mantra "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
Finally, somewhere along the way I got tired of being a failure in my eyes, and I assumed everyone else's. I gave up trying. I became a mess. All because I wanted to do it all. Now. Perfectly. And, I wanted it to stay perfect. It was a vicious cycle.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, I discovered perfect wasn't necessary. Good enough was enough. I couldn't be perfect, but I could be good enough. I was so much more fun when I discovered this. Slowing down to enjoy the boys and their mess. It could be cleaned later. We could even make a game of it and have fun cleaning. Who knew?
Coffee, food, meals together as a family were so much better enjoyed slowly, with conversation. Cleaning up can always be done after the meal is over, many hands making the work light. Roses are meant to be enjoyed. Stop and smell them. Pick one. Put it in a beautiful vase and display it. Enjoy it!
One of my teenage dreams was to live in Paris. Now, as an adult, I simply want to live somewhere with a slower pace of life. One day I realized I will never live abroad. But, why can't I adapt my life now to a slower pace of living? I use my calendar to stay on track, planning ahead so I don't have to live the rushed, hurried life I did before. I make sure to say "No" unless I am certain I want to do it.
My new attitude has given me time to do the things I truly want to do. Bible study, writing, reading, and taking care of my home and family. Cooking from scratch. Baking yeast breads. Cookies, cakes, pies from scratch. Yum. Exercise. Lunch with my husband. Travelling to see my son. Pinterest!
There are times when Type A crops out and makes me want to rush about to do it all and then some, saying "yes" to every project and committee that comes my way. But, monthly, weekly and daily planning keeps me on track, making sure I stay on my slower schedule.
I now enjoy my days and how I choose to live them. Each activity has purpose. Everything I do is intentional. I find enjoyment in having a clean home and knowing I am blessing my family. Having time to devote to my daily chores and doing them correctly instead of rushing thru them because I'm behind is an incredible feeling. One I am happy I have discovered. It's a feeling I guard closely. A way of life I embrace joyfully.
Living life intentionally. That's me. How about you? How are you living? Does it give you pleasure? Please note, I have nothing against Type A personalities. Was one myself. While part of the working world, it was quite beneficial and brought me joy. I married one. Then, when I became a Mom, for some reason it stopped bringing me joy, so I stopped. Simple as that. Well, maybe not that simple...as I said, it took years to reform.
Coffee? Yes, a full pot. I needed it today.
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