Southern Girls....

It's Tuesday morning.  It's cloudy with a slight chill in the air. I didn't sleep well last night and thus have a headache. 

And, here I sit.  In Starbucks.  With my computer and ever present cup of coffee, wishing the employees would brew the coffee a little bit quieter.  The sound of grinding beans is at concert proportions it seems.  It's almost more than I can bear at the moment - even as I delight in the aroma.  There is war within me.  I love, yet hate, being here this morning.

And, in the midst of all this angst, I am so thrilled to be here.  Here in the United States.  Here in Texas.  Here in Waco. 

Have I told you about my new hometown?  I am absolutely, positively in love with Waco, TX. If you drive through on I35 in the 15 minutes it takes to pass through town you don't see the real Waco, which is found in the heart of the people who live here. 

Waco is a small city here in the Heart of Texas.  I'm ashamed to say I don't know our population, but be assured, it's not a "small town".  But, it has that small town feel.  I recently read that Waco has two main pursuits - Friday night football and Sunday morning church.  It's true.  I think 80% of the people living here go to church somewhere. 

This brings me to one of the reasons I love Waco.  Where else in the world can you go to Wal-Mart and as you check out your cashier says "Thank you and God bless" and MEAN IT??  The greeter says to you on your way out, "Have a blessed day."  When you go to a restaurant - chain restaurants - they have "One Nation UNDER GOD" written in their windows.  God is alive and well in Waco. 

You can see it in the people.  They are friendly.  They are kind.  They are welcoming.  They are wonderful.  They take it seriously.  Southern hospitality is at it's finest in this place.

If all this is true, then why am I having such trouble finding a church and friends?  I won't belabor the church thing today.  Let's just say the quest for the right "fit" continues.  However, we are getting closer.  As for the friend thing, have you heard of the 2 year rule with Southern women??  It's something I used to laugh about until I was on this side of it.  Let me try to explain it to you - from both sides. 

Southern women are sweet, kind, considerate, welcoming, and generally wonderful. They can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  Do not cross one.  It will get ugly.  Especially in a town where everyone has always lived there. Women in these places are a clique-ish group.  They have a circle of friends from years past.  They not only share secrets, they are part of each others secrets.  They not only know where the skeletons are hid, they helped put them there. 

When someone new comes to town, they will be awesome to them.  So nice.  So kind.  Welcoming.  To a point.  There is an invisible line, a force field, that keeps people out.  It's the chill in the sweet smile. The reserve in her eyes.  The slight edge in the tone of voice.  The "Oh, I'd LOVE to go to lunch with you but I'm..... already.... I've already got plans.  Maybe another time??"  and, then they avoid you for a couple of weeks until you've gotten the message and won't bother asking them again.  They invite you, not the other way around. 

This isn't done to be mean or malicious. It really isn't. It's a self protection.  Southern women have soft tender hearts.  Hearts that can withstand great trials.  But, hearts that once someone is allowed inside, can easily be shattered in millions of pieces.  So, to protect themselves, they make you wait.  They watch you, waiting to see if you are honest and true.  If you are reliable.  If you are friendship material. If you are going to stick around. 

How do you take a joke?  How do you cook?  Do you do your nails and hair every time you leave the house?  Do you do them just to stay home? Do you keep your house clean?  (Eventually, someone will stop by to check this out.  Trust me, I know.) If they tell you a secret, will you keep it?  Do you gossip?  Do you like the same tv shows, movies, books, etc?  Are you smart but pretend to be stupid?  Are you stupid?  Are you smart and you don't care who knows it? Are you a know it all?  Are you well dressed?  Are you.....  the list goes on.

After about a year, if you seemingly measure up, they will allow you on the very outer fringes of their society.  You know, where you might get invited to lunch at a restaurant with a small group of them.  If you pass that test, in a few months, one of them might invite you to go shopping.  And, slowly, but surely, if you perserve and prove your worth, you will finally be allowed into the group.  Once you are there, it's the most wonderful, warm, welcoming place you could ever be.  Full of friends closer than family who will defend you to the death - or at the very least a few broken nails.

I'm at month six in this process.  I have another 18 to go.  I hope and pray they go quickly.  I miss the community of women.  I need my girlfriends.  But, until then, I will hang out at the local coffee shops alone with my computer and cups of coffee, writing and observing.

Coffee:  today's blend is Starbucks Veranda Blonde with sugar free vanilla syrup and a generous amount of half and half.  Yum.  It's almost gone, so I will soon ask for a free refill (I love being a gold card member) and possibly a multigrain bagel or a yogurt.  Who knows....  

*****It should be noted there ARE exceptions to the above.  You know who you are.  :) *****