Friendly vs Friendship

The difference between friendly vs friendship has been rambling around in my mind since last week's post.  As I haven't anything more interesting to write about this morning and as this topic keeps circling in my brain, I am going to write it out so I can move onto other thoughts. 

Here goes....

First, let's define these two words.  We will go to the expert:  Webster's New Dictonary.  Really.  I have a real dictionary.  I bought it for the kids to use instead of googling everything.  It's a lost art.  One I'm trying to reclaim in my home, but I digress.  Back to the task at hand.  Definitions. 

Friendly is defined as follows: 1 of or like a friend; kindly  2  not hostile; amicable  3 supporting; helping

Friendship is defined as follows:  1  the state of being friends.  2  friendly feeling

So, this means we now need to define Friend:  1  a person whom one knows well and is fond of  2 an ally, supporter, or sympathizer  3 a member of the Society of Friends; Quaker

Okay.  That's what Webster has to say on the subject.  Next, MY thoughts on the above. 

First of all, I say a resounding YES to the definition of friend.  A person whom one knows well and is fond of.  I must say (again) I miss my friends.  The day to day, seeing them face to face friends.  The people I know WELL and am FOND of.  Dearly fond of them.  And, I miss them.  Desperately.  Why?  Because, currently, I have no one (other than family) in Waco that I "know well and am fond of." 

That brings me to the main topic.  Friendly vs Friendship.  I've mentioned Waco is a friendly town.  Everyone is so nice.  Really nice.  So far, I've only met one person who wasn't nice to me.  One person in seven months who wasn't friendly.  Wow.  Those are some pretty awesome odds! 

***Please note, I am NOT talking about people's actions while driving, I am talking about face to face interactions.  Driving on I-35 (or any other road, for that matter) is a different experience entirely.***

Getting back on task:

Friendly.  Yes, people here are friendly.  They practice being friendly.  They "bless you" when you sneeze.  Total strangers.  From other aisles in the store where they can't even see you!  They make small talk over tomatoes.  Chit chat before, during and after Bible study.  Meaningless/meaningful talk before and after church services with total strangers.  It's a rare person who doesn't speak to you or wave at you in your neighborhood.  They smile.  They open doors for you. Small acts of kindness are everywhere. 

But, and this is the important part, this isn't friendship.  Yet.  They are being friendly.  Very friendly.  Awesomely friendly.  So friendly I want to be friends with them.  I've met several ladies I want to know better.  To possibly become friends with them.

When does friendship happen?  It happens when there is trust.  When, over time, we "know each other well."  To do this we spend time together.  We talk.  We share bits and pieces of our lives.  We have lunch together a few times.  We (finally) visit each other's homes.  We see each other act and react with others - and see honesty there.  When a small "secret" has been shared...and it's gone no farther.  When you know you can trust the other with deeper secrets, your emotions, your thoughts and dreams, etc.

But, all this takes time.  It's a slow process.  One that rarely happens over night.  I'd venture to say, it takes two years.

Yes, I know there are times when you meet someone and instantly "click".  A spark is there.  It ignites and instantly you are BFFs.  I've had that happen.  But, it's not the usual process.

And, that's okay.  Although I am lonely, longing for the day when I have true friendship, I am enjoying the process of being friendly with those I meet and having them be friendly in return. Why?? Because I know, one day, eventually, friendships will develop.  They will be deep and true.  They will last, because they developed and matured over time.   

Lighter topic:  Coffee:  Yup, yummy coffee.  More than half the pot, with half and half.  I'm trying to stay away from the "fake" creamers.  But, I will admit to having Peppermint Mocha creamer in my refrigerator.  I love the stuff.  I haven't duplicated it yet, so I keep buying it.  But, I've cut my consumption dramatically. 

Have a great day.  Have a cup of coffee with a friend, if possible.