Too much on my plate. Don't like most of it. Worried, stressed, anxious, fearful, not sleeping, overwhelmed, nauseated. This is NOT how I WANT to feel. Time is flying by, hubby's retirement is looming (like a big monster over my head ready to grab and devour us) and I'm not dealing well with it today, or yesterday. Two days ago, I was fine. How's that for honesty?
Want more honesty? I KNOW this is not a good example of my walk with Christ. I KNOW God has plans for us...and I know they are for GOOD. Reference Jeremiah 29:11. Great promise. One I usually claim. Why am I not claiming it now? Why am I letting my joy slip away? Why am I living with a spirit of fear? I KNOW it's not from God. That only leaves one other option....*sigh* It's time to take the negative focus off me and put it back where it needs to be. K...pity party over. I will try to keep them to a minimum. Time to read Psalm 121 in the KJV. It's my life chapter. Hey, sometimes you need a chapter, not just a verse, right? :)
I will share it with you. Hope it speaks to your heart as it has mine for the past 23 years. Back story time: I had a wreck when I was 20. That night, after tossing and turning for too long, I turned on my lamp and started searching my Bible for something for ME. I prayed, opened the Bible and put my finger on this Psalm and God spoke to my heart. (I've tried this since and it didn't work, but it did then, which is all that matters.)
Psalm 121:
I will lift mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
Wow.... I feel better. I needed this reminder tonight. I know other versions are easier to understand, but this was the version I read it in the first time and it's the one that speaks peace into my heart. Time to choose joy. And peace. And contentment.
Next topic. Bible study was today! Love seeing the ladies. Love our conversations and time spent together. Looking forward to next week already. This is what I wore today. I felt positively FABULOUS in it too - Marilyn Monroe moments and all. It was rather windy today...need I say more? *insert grin here*
Patrick went for action shots today. :)
Coffee: Church coffee this morning with Peppermint Mocha creamer. This afternoon I drank a pot of Dunkin Donuts Original Blend, ground fresh. (Thanks again Angela!!!) First half of the pot was with Trader Joe's Organic Half & Half. Delish! The other half, I added flavored creamers. Needed the "comfort" of them...
Food: Made a new recipe tonight. Took a recipe from AllRecipes.com and made it my own. Turned out really good. Thumbs up from 4 of us and the other two liked it minus the cornbread crust, which I anticipated. We will be having it again.
Writing: This blog, some message board posts........
Exercise: Let's not discuss it, k? I admit to failing miserably in this area.
Job search: Still haven't heard anything from the promising leads. *insert sighs and stessed face here...and then me reading Psalm 121 again.* Applied on-line tonight with a temp agency. Maybe that will work out where these others haven't as yet. I will keep praying. You too, please.
***Edited to add: Reading!!!! Today I read "What I Know Now, Simple Lessons Learned the Hard Way" by Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York. I wanted to add quotes from this very well written and thoughtful book. However, there was something on almost every page I wanted to share. So, my suggestion is this: READ THE BOOK. It's a quick, easy read. I would venture to say you can apply much of what she has learned to your own life. I know I'll be reading it again.
***Edited to add: Reading!!!! Today I read "What I Know Now, Simple Lessons Learned the Hard Way" by Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York. I wanted to add quotes from this very well written and thoughtful book. However, there was something on almost every page I wanted to share. So, my suggestion is this: READ THE BOOK. It's a quick, easy read. I would venture to say you can apply much of what she has learned to your own life. I know I'll be reading it again.
You look so cute today Susan! I feel your pain- I've been overstressed lately too - just too much going on, too much in my brain, come on summer!
ReplyDeleteI feel you too Susan. We have to pay three months of rent in one month (our last month for here, even with the 'wonderful' service memebers relief act, then a security deposit and first month's rent at the new place) and be moved in just a couple weeks, and when I say we haven't even started, I mean, we haven't started!
ReplyDeleteThat said, I feel your situation is even more stressful and I feel for you girl.
I start feeling the same way also about why i'm not trusting and if I really believe what I say I do (Beth Moore). Even Paul had those feelings though (why do I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I do?).
Thanks for sharing that comforting Psalm--it's a great one. Just don't forget the question mark at the end of the first sentence. I love the way I picture the question being kind of desperate at first, then comes the amazing answer.
You do look FAB in that top and skirt and dressing like that has to help make you feel better than staying in PJs right? Part of my problem some days...
Love that color on you!
Praying for you.
Thanks Peggy and Kara. Nice to know I'm not alone in the Stress Boat. Although, it would be so much nicer to cruise on the Good Ship Lollipop without a care in the world. God never promised us the way would be stress or care free, however.
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your kind words and especially your prayers. Praying for you too!!!